https://www.khutbah.info/the-importance-of-dialogue/ In the darkest of nights, even the full moon goes missing. And amid the turbulence of trials and disagreements that surge like waves of the ocean, along with everyone’s admiration of their own opinion, the wise person searches for a glimmer of light to illuminate the way, or for a lifeline to save them from the turbulence of a deep sea engulfed by waves upon waves, over which are cyclones and whirlwinds that leave even the wise bewildered. Nowadays, we live in a time whereby the channels of information have increased and reached such rapid rates that people wake up to new developments, and end their days with new developments. To the point that sometimes, searching for the truth is like searching for a needle in a haystack. Herein, lies the challenge. And the consequences are dangerous.
إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ ,نَحْمَدُهُ ,وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ , وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا ,مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ , وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ , وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ
Verily, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His assistance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Him from the evils of our selves. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He misguides, none can guide. And I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
يَا أَيُّهَا الّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ – آل عمران:102
Al Imran 102 : O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.
Oh people:
In the darkest of nights, even the full moon goes missing. And amid the turbulence of trials and disagreements that surge like waves of the ocean, along with everyone’s admiration of their own opinion, the wise person searches for a glimmer of light to illuminate the way, or for a lifeline to save them from the turbulence of a deep sea engulfed by waves upon waves, over which are cyclones and whirlwinds that leave even the wise bewildered.
Nowadays, we live in a time whereby the channels of information have increased and reached such rapid rates that people wake up to new developments, and end their days with new developments. To the point that sometimes, searching for the truth is like searching for a needle in a haystack. Herein, lies the challenge. And the consequences are dangerous.
And the approaches of yesterday may not be as effective as they once were, due to the tyranny of distractions and the weakening of moral restraint. This makes discussion and debating in the best manner the best approach especially in the spheres of advising, guiding, upbringing, criticizing, and disputing.
From this standpoint, we passionately highlight the need for prevailing in the principles of dialoguing and debating in the best manner, in all matters of life, as our true religion taught us. Our guide in this is the Book of our Lord and the Sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ. Dialogue is a refined approach and an ideal means to reach goals with soundness, tranquility, politeness, and effectiveness.
Dialogue, is the exchange of talking between two or more people, intended to prove an argument, establish a right, refute a doubt, or dispel falsehood in speech, action, or belief. It is a significant method in the Quran and Sunnah. The Quran contains dozens of verses that include the concept of dialogue. And the pure Sunnah is full of this style, emanating from the prophetic character aimed at guiding people, caring for them, and being merciful to them. As Allah says:
لَقَدْ جَاءَكُمْ رَسُولٌ مِنْ أَنْفُسِكُمْ عَزِيزٌ عَلَيْهِ مَا عَنِتُّمْ حَرِيصٌ عَلَيْكُمْ بِالْمُؤْمِنِينَ رَءُوفٌ رَحِيمٌ
Surah At-Tawbah (9:128): There has certainly come to you a Messenger from among yourselves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; [he is] concerned over you [i.e., your guidance] and to the believers is kind and merciful.
Dialogue in our noble religion is distinguished for its applicability in all aspects of life, starting from matters of creed to the upbringing of children. An example from the domain of creed is the dialogue that each prophet had with his people, dialoguing with them in the best manner, hoping to guide them to the straight path of Allah. ‘Oday ibn Hatim, who was initially a Christian, entered upon the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and heard him reciting the verse of Allah:
اتَّخَذُوا أَحْبَارَهُمْ وَرُهْبَانَهُمْ أَرْبَابًا مِنْ دُونِ اللَّهِ وَالْمَسِيحَ ابْنَ مَرْيَمَ
Surah At-Tawbah (9:31): They have taken their scholars and monks as lords besides Allah, and [also] the Messiah, the son of Mary.
‘Oday said, “We do not worship them.” The Prophet ﷺ replied:
أَمَا إِنَّهُمْ لَمْ يَكُونُوا يَعْبُدُونَهُمْ وَلَكِنَّهُمْ كَانُوا إِذَا أَحَلُّوا لَهُمْ شَيْئًا اسْتَحَلُّوهُ وَإِذَا حَرَّمُوا عَلَيْهِمْ شَيْئًا حَرَّمُوهُ
As for them, they did not worship them, but when they made something lawful for them, they considered it lawful, and when they made something unlawful for them, they considered it unlawful. [Sahih AtTirmithi 3095, Grade: Hassan (Albani)]
This is an example of the Prophet’s ﷺ dialogue in matters of creed, to serve as a beacon for every Muslim, eager to guide others, to follow the guidance of the Prophet ﷺ. Allah the Exalted says:
لَقَدْ كَانَ لَكُمْ فِي رَسُولِ اللَّهِ أُسْوَةٌ حَسَنَةٌ لِمَنْ كَانَ يَرْجُو اللَّهَ وَالْيَوْمَ الْآخِرَ وَذَكَرَ اللَّهَ كَثِيرًا
Surah Al-Ahzab (33:21): There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [who] remembers Allah often.
أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ
I say what you have heard and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and you from every sin. So seek forgives from Him, Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.
Second Khutbah
الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ, وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ , وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَاْ إِلَهَ إِلَّاْ اَللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَاْشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَاً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ
All praise is to Allah, and peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.
Oh Muslims:
Indeed, engaging in wholesome and constructive dialogue is the best way to reach the truth and certainty for those who have a heart or lend an ear while being attentive.
When lust takes control of a person’s heart, and their heart longs for sin, mere reproach, rebuke and reprimand, far from the approach of constructive dialogue, are unlikely to uproot the lure of indulging in desires. This is where the true benefits of dialogue lie.
A young man once came to the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and said:
ائْذَنْ لي بالزِّنا،فأقبَلَ القَومُ عليه فزَجَروه وقالوا: مَهْ، مَهْ! فقال: ادْنُهْ، فدَنا منه قَريبًا، قال: فجَلَسَ، قال: أتُحِبُّه لأُمِّكَ، قال: لا واللهِ، جَعَلَني اللهُ فِداءَكَ، قال: ولا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَه لأُمَّهاتِهم، قال: أفتُحِبُّه لابنتِكَ، قال: لا واللهِ، يا رسولَ اللهِ، جَعَلَني اللهُ فِداءَكَ، قال: ولا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَه لبَناتِهم، قال: أفتُحِبُّه لأُختِكَ، قال: لا واللهِ، جَعَلَني اللهُ فِداءَكَ، قال: ولا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَه لأَخَواتِهم، قال: أفتُحِبُّه لعَمَّتِكَ، قال: لا واللهِ، جَعَلَني اللهُ فِداءَكَ، قال: ولا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَه لعَمَّاتِهم، قال: أفتُحِبُّه لخالتِكَ، قال: لا واللهِ، جَعَلَني اللهُ فِداءَكَ، قال: ولا النَّاسُ يُحِبُّونَه لخالاتِهم، قال: فوَضَعَ يدَه عليه وقال: اللَّهُمَّ اغفِرْ ذَنبَه، وطَهِّرْ قَلبَه، وحَصِّنْ فَرْجَه، قال: فلمْ يَكُنْ بعدَ ذلك الفَتى يَلتفِتُ إلى شيءٍ.
O Messenger of Allah, grant me permission to commit adultery. The people around him reprimanded him, saying, “Woe to you.” But the Prophet said, “Bring him closer.” So the young man came close and sat down. The Prophet asked him, “Would you like it for your mother?” He replied, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Nor do people like it for their mothers.” He asked, “Would you like it for your daughter?” He replied, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet asked him, “Would you like it for your sister?” He replied, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Nor do people like it for their sisters.” The Prophet asked him, “Would you like it for your paternal aunts?” He replied, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Nor do people like it for their paternal aunts.” The Prophet asked him, “Would you like it for your maternal aunts?” He replied, “No, by Allah, may I be sacrificed for you.” The Prophet said, “Nor do people like it for their maternal aunts.” Then the Prophet placed his hand on the young man and supplicated, “O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart, and guard his chastity.” After that, the young man never turned to anything sinful. [Ahmad 22211, Grade: Sahih]
This is the essence of dialogue and its impact in clarifying matters and removing doubts, and extinguishing the blind flames of lust and desire.
Dialogue is also crucial in removing the cloud of suspicion and doubt that leads to falsely questioning motivations and honor. A Bedouin came to the Prophet ﷺand said:
إنَّ امْرَأَتي ولَدَتْ غُلَامًا أسْوَدَ، وإنِّي أنْكَرْتُهُ، فَقالَ له رَسولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عليه وسلَّمَ: هلْ لكَ مِن إبِلٍ، قالَ: نَعَمْ، قالَ: فَما ألْوَانُهَا، قالَ: حُمْرٌ، قالَ: هلْ فِيهَا مِن أوْرَقَ، قالَ: إنَّ فِيهَا لَوُرْقًا، قالَ: فأنَّى تُرَى ذلكَ جَاءَهَا، قالَ: يا رَسولَ اللَّهِ، عِرْقٌ نَزَعَهَا، قالَ: ولَعَلَّ هذا عِرْقٌ نَزَعَهُ، ولَمْ يُرَخِّصْ له في الِانْتِفَاءِ منه.
My wife has given birth to a dark-complexioned boy, and I have disowned him. The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to him, ‘Do you have camels?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’ The Prophet asked, ‘What color are they?’ He said, ‘Red.’ The Prophet asked, ‘Is there any grey in them?’ He said, ‘Indeed, there is some grey.’ The Prophet said, ‘How do you think that came about?’ The man said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, perhaps it is a strain [in their lineage].’ The Prophet said, And perhaps this [boy] has a strain [like that],’ and he did not permit him to disown the child. [Bukhari 7314, Muslim 1500]
This dialogue removed the man’s suspicions and ill thoughts towards his wife, thereby cutting the roots of doubt and closing the door to family discord. How great is the impact of dialogue when someone is skilled, calm, purposeful, driven by sincerity and the pursuit of truth and far from slandering and quarreling.
In the realm of raising children, dialogue has a more profound impact than mere instruction or forced imposition. Once, the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ saw Al-Hasan bin Ali – may Allah be pleased with them – putting a date from the charity dates in his mouth. The Prophet ﷺ said:
كِخْ كِخْ ارْمِ بِهَا أَمَا عَلِمْتَ أَنَّا لاَ نَأْكُلُ الصَّدَقَةَ
‘Kakh’ (an expression of disapproval). ‘Kakh’ (an expression of disapproval), leave it. Do you not know that we do not eat (what is given in) charity. [Bukhari 3072, Muslim 1069a]
Indeed upbringing coupled with explaining the rationale and wisdom is superior to upbringing devoid of it. And if mere prohibition was sufficient in upbringing, the Prophet ﷺ would have sufficed with saying ‘Kakh’ (an expression of disapproval). However, adding some dialogue with reasoning instilled the correct understanding, rather than imposing it without the slightest explanation.
Any society that cultivates proficiency in conveying ideas convincingly through dialogue and transparency and debating in the best manner and not in the roughest fashion, will convey ideas with clarity and understanding and without arrogance. If the outcome is not as desired, at least the evidence was established, and one’s duty is fulfilled, echoing the believer’s sentiment in the Quran:
فَسَتَذْكُرُونَ مَا أَقُولُ لَكُمْ وَأُفَوِّضُ أَمْرِي إِلَى اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ بَصِيرٌ بِالْعِبَادِ
Ghafir (40:44): So you will remember what I [now] say to you, and I entrust my affair to Allah. Indeed, Allah is Seeing of [His] servants.
We ask Allah Almighty to enlighten our hearts with Iman and bless us with wisdom to convey the truth in the best manner. Indeed Allah is All Hearing, Answering.
هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى نَبِيِّكُم كَمَا أَمَرَكُمْ بِذلِكَ رَبُّكُمْ , فَقَالَ
I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:
إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا
Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.
اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ
O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed. For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.
اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا
O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good
عِبَادَ اللّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ
Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded.
اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة
Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein. And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.
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