Do not get Angry

https://www.khutbah.info/do-not-get-angry/ The Prophet ﷺ was the most sincere and caring of people towards people, and the most knowledgeable of what benefits them. His advice is the most important and the most beneficial advice.  And from his ﷺ great advice is what is related in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him that a man said to the Prophet ﷺ: Advise me. He said, Do not get angry. He repeated (the request) several times, and he (the Prophet) said, Do not get angry. [ Al-Bukhari 6116] 

إِنَّ الْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ ,نَحْمَدُهُ  ,وَنَسْتَعِينُهُ  وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ ,  وَنَعُوذُ بِاللهِ مِنْ شُرُورِ أَنْفُسِنَا وَمِنْ سَيِّئَاتِ أَعْمَالِنَا  ,مَنْ يَهْدِهِ اللهُ  فَلَا مُضِلَّ لَهُ ,  وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلَا هَادِيَ لَهُ ,  وَأَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا اللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَا شَرِيكَ لَهُ   وَأَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ    

Verily, all praise is for Allah. We praise Him, we seek His assistance and we ask for His forgiveness. And we seek refuge in Him from the evils of our selves. Whoever Allah guides, none can misguide. Whoever He misguides, none can guide. And I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.

 يَا أَيُّهَا الّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلَا تَمُوتُنَّ إِلَّا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ – آل عمران:102 

Al Imran 102 : O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die not except in a state of Islam.

Oh people:

The Prophet ﷺ was the most sincere and caring of people towards people, and the most knowledgeable of what benefits them. His advice is the most important and the most beneficial advice. 

And from his ﷺ great advice is what is related in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurairah, may Allah be pleased with him that a man said to the Prophet ﷺ:

أَوْصِنِي ‏ فَقَالَ  لَا تَغْضَبْ  فَرَدَّدَ مِرَارًا  قَالَ  لَا تَغْضَبْ 

Advise me. He said, Do not get angry. He repeated (the request) several times, and he (the Prophet) said, Do not get angry. [ Al-Bukhari 6116] 

Because of the importance of this great instruction and the Prophet’s ﷺrepetition of it, the scholars have elaborated extensively on this hadith. They have given it great attention and have selected it among hadiths to be memorized and studied. Some of them have derived more than fifty benefits from it, even though the wording of this advice contains no more than six Arabic letters. 

And when a companion would say to the Prophet ﷺ, “Advise me,” he was asking him ﷺ to guide him to a door of good that he could adhere to. The Prophet ﷺ advised this companion to avoid anger, which indicates the blameworthiness of anger and how severely destructive it is to a person’s faith and worldly affairs. For that reason, it was mentioned in some narrations of this hadith that the man said: 

فَفَكَّرْتُ حين قال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم ما قال فإذا الْغَضَبُ يَجْمَعُ الشَّرَّ كُلَّهُ

So I reflected when the Prophet ﷺ said what he said, and I found that anger combines all types of evil. [Ahmad 2317, Grade: Sahih Chain (Arnaout)]

It is notable that the man repeated his request to the Prophet ﷺ several times, but the Prophet continued to advise him not to get angry. This is evidence that anger is the totality of all evil, and that protecting oneself from it is the totality of all good. 

Ja‘far ibn Muhammad (may Allah have mercy on him) said that anger is the key to every evil.

It was said to Ibn al-Mubarak (may Allah have mercy on him): “Summarize good character in one word.” He said: “Abandoning anger.” 

Similarly, Imams Ahmad and Ibn Raahawah interpreted good character as abandoning anger. 

And the Quran mentions that among the virtues of restraining anger is Paradise as vast as the heavens and the earth. 

And the Prophet ﷺ said: 

مَنْ كَظَمَ غَيْظًا وَهُوَ قَادِرٌ عَلَى أَنْ يُنْفِذَهُ دَعَاهُ اللَّهُ عَلَى رُءُوسِ الْخَلاَئِقِ يَوْمَ الْقِيَامَةِ حَتَّى يُخَيِّرَهُ فِي أَىِّ الْحُورِ شَاءَ 

Whoever suppresses his anger while he is able to act upon it, Allah, will call him before all creation and will let him choose whichever of the Hoor (maidens of Paradise) he wishes. [Sunan Ibn Majah 4186, Grade Hasan] 

And avoiding anger is a reason for attaining Allah’s pleasure. As indicated in the hadith narrated by ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with them both), when he asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ: 

ماذا يُباعِدُني مِن غَضَبِ اللهِ عزَّ وجَلَّ قال لا تَغضَبْ 

What will keep me away from the anger of Allah, the Mighty and Sublime? He said: Do not get angry. [Ahmad 6635, Grade: Sahih Chain (Ahmad Shakir)] 

And in the hadith of narrated by Ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with them both), who said:

ما تَجَرَّعَ عبدٌ جَرعَةً أفضَلَ عندَ اللهِ عزَّ وجلَّ من جَرعَةِ غَيظٍ، يَكظِمُها ابتِغاءَ وَجهِ اللهِ تَعالى 

A servant has not swallowed a gulp more excellent before Allah, the Mighty and Sublime, than a gulp of rage that he restrains, seeking thereby the Face of Allah the Exalted. [Ahmad 6114, Grade (Sahih (Arnaout)] 

All of these hadiths indicate the importance of avoiding anger. Therefore, the Prophet ﷺ advised this man: “Do not get angry,” and repeated it to him. 

Avoiding anger includes avoiding its causes and triggers. Some people become angry when they sit with certain individuals who provoke them, so they should avoid sitting with them and keep away from whatever stirs their anger wherever it may be, thus avoiding anger and its sin. 

Some people become angry at their family, children, or those under their care if they see faults. The way to avert this anger is by overlooking faults while striving to remedy these deficiencies without anger. 

It was narrated from Muhammad ibn ‘Abdullah al-Khuza‘i that he said: I heard ‘Uthman ibn Zaidah say: “Well-being is in ten parts, nine of which are in ignoring (faults).” He said: So I related this to Ahmad ibn Hanbal, and he said: “Well-being is ten parts, all of them in ignoring (faults).” 

And avoiding anger after it occurs is achieved by subduing it, lessening its effects, and controlling the emotional reaction. As in the hadith narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: 

لَيْسَ اَلشَّدِيدُ بِالصُّرَعَةِ  إِنَّمَا اَلشَّدِيدُ اَلَّذِي يَمْلِكُ نَفْسَهُ عِنْدَ اَلْغَضَبِ

The strong man is not the one who overpowers others in wrestling. The strong man is only the one who controls himself at the time of anger. [Bukhari 6114, Muslim 2609]

And anger is from Satan, so seeking refuge in Allah the Exalted from Satan lessens and removes anger. The Prophet ﷺ saw a man who was angry and said: 

إِنِّي لأَعْلَمُ كَلِمَةً لَوْ قَالَهَا لَذَهَبَ عَنْهُ مَا يَجِدُ لَوْ قَالَ أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

I know a word that if he were to say it, what he feels would leave him. If he said: ‘I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the expelled (Ar-rajim),’ [his anger would go]. [Bukhari 6115]

And an angry person is commanded to sit down, as was indicated in the hadith: 

إذا غضبَ أحدُكم وهو قائمٌ فلْيجلسْ فإن ذهبَ عنه الغضبُ وإلاَّ فلْيَضْطَجِعْ 

If one of you becomes angry while standing, let him sit down; if his anger goes away [all is well], otherwise let him lie down. [Sahih Abu Dawood 4782, Grade: Sahih (Albani)]

This is because the one standing is in a heightened readiness for retaliation, while sitting reduces that readiness, and lying down reduces it even more. Thus, the Prophet ﷺ instructed the angry to move further away from the state of retaliating. 

And the angry person is commanded to remain silent, because exchanging words increases anger and leads to fighting. How many in of those in graveyards have lost their lives due to anger! And how many crimes have been committed in a state of anger! This could have been avoided, by the permission of Allah, had the Prophet’s ﷺ advice in avoiding anger, its causes, and its consequences, been taken.   

If one speaks in anger to their spouse, their words may lead to divorce and a break-up of the family. Hence the hadith states: 

إذا غَضِبَ أحدُكم فلْيسكتْ 

If one of you becomes angry, let him remain silent.  [Ahmed 2136 , Grade: Sahih (Albani)]

Salman (may Allah be pleased with him) said to a man: “Do not get angry.” He said: “You have commanded me not to get angry, yet something overcomes me that I cannot control.” Salman said: “If you become angry, then control your tongue and your hand.” 

And if someone speaks while angry, they must strive to say nothing but the truth. Among the authentic supplications is: 

وَأَسْـأَلُـكَ كَلِمَـةَ الحَـقِّ في الرِّضـا وَالغَضَـب

And I ask You for the word of truth in times of pleasure and anger. [Sunan an-Nasa’i 1305, Grade:Hasan] 

Al-Hafith Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This is very rare—that a person says nothing but the truth, whether angry or pleased. For most people, when they become angry, do not hold back in what they say.” 

Performing ablution (wudu) is among the means to curb anger at its onset and to lessen its effects. Such that the angry person extinguishes the fire of their anger with water. As Abu Wa’il al-Qass narrated: We entered upon ‘Urwah ibn Muhammad as-Sa‘di, and a man addressed him and made him angry. So he got up, performed wudu, then returned having performed wudu, and said: My father told me from my grandfather ‘Atiyyah, who said: The Messenger of Allah ﷺsaid: 

إِنَّ الْغَضَبَ من الشَّيْطَانِ وَإِنَّ الشَّيْطَانَ خُلِقَ من النَّارِ وَإِنَّمَا تُطْفَأُ النَّارُ بِالْمَاءِ فإذا غَضِبَ أحدكم فَلْيَتَوَضَّأْ  

Verily anger is from Satan, and Satan was created from fire, and fire is only extinguished by water. So if one of you becomes angry, let him perform wudu.[Abu Dawud 4784, Grade: Hasan (Arnaout)]

Allah Almighty said:

وَسَارِعُوا إِلَى مَغْفِرَةٍ مِنْ رَبِّكُمْ وَجَنَّةٍ عَرْضُهَا السَّمَوَاتُ وَالأَرْضُ أُعِدَّتْ لِلْمُتَّقِينَ * الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالكَاظِمِينَ الغَيْظَ وَالعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللهُ يُحِبُّ المُحْسِنِينَ -آل عمران 133-134

Aal ‘Imran (3) 133-134 : And hasten to forgiveness from your Lord and a garden [i.e., Paradise] as wide as the heavens and earth, prepared for the righteous. Who spend [in the cause of Allah] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people – and Allah loves the doers of good.

أَقُولُ مَا تَسْمَعُونَ وَأَسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ  لِي وَلَكُمْ مِنْ كُلِّ ذَنْبٍ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوهُ  إِنَّهُ هُوَ الغَفُورُ الرَّحِيمُ

I say what you have heard and I seek forgiveness from Allah for me and you from every sin. So seek forgives from Him, Verily He is Oft-Forgiving, the Most Merciful.

Second Khutbah

الحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ,  وَالصَّلَاةُ وَالسَّلَامُ عَلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ  , وَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لَاْ إِلَهَ إِلَّاْ اَللهُ وَحْدَهُ لَاْشَرِيْكَ لَهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدَاً عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ

All praise is to Allah, and peace and blessings upon the Messenger of Allah, and I bear witness that there is no deity other than Allah and I bear witness that Mohammad is His slave and messenger.

Oh Muslims:

This great advice from the Prophet ﷺ to not get angry, and what has come in numerous other hadiths about managing anger and reducing its effects, clearly indicate the destructiveness of anger. It affects one’s faith and worldly life, and it has been established that anger is a cause of many chronic illnesses such as hypertension, diabetes, heart disease, and others. 

A person may ruin their life because of anger, such that their family, children, and those close to them cannot stand them because of their frequent anger, and they do not feel comfortable while they are around them. This is one of the biggest causes of alienation and division among family members.

Due to their quickness to anger and slowness to be pleased, some people can no longer endure anyone and as a result no one else can bear them. They become weary of people and people become weary of them, and they end up in isolation that destroys them. 

Whoever trains themselves to curb anger and overcome Satan, their soul becomes disciplined and their devil is defeated, because forbearance is acquired by striving to be forbearing, just as knowledge is acquired by studying. 

Then no one can provoke them because they control themselves. As for those who follow their inner selves that incline to evil, and are overcome by their desires, and controlled by their devils, they are provoked even by the foolish and are weak even if they appear to be strong. 

On the other hand, anger over the sacred limits of Allah Almighty being violated is praiseworthy and commendable in the Shari‘ah. The Prophet ﷺ was the most severe of people in anger if a sanctity of Allah the Exalted was violated, as indicated in numerous hadiths.

At the same time, this anger must be measured by the balance of the Shari‘ah, not reaching excess and exaggeration. 

Otherwise, they may destroy and ruin their soul. As narrated by Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah ﷺsay:

كان رَجُلانِ في بَنِي إِسْرَائِيلَ مُتَوَاخِيَيْنِ فَكَانَ أَحَدُهُمَا يُذْنِبُ وَالْآخَرُ مُجْتَهِدٌ في الْعِبَادَةِ فَكَانَ لا يَزَالُ الْمُجْتَهِدُ يَرَى الآخر على الذَّنْبِ فيقول: أَقْصِرْ، فَوَجَدَهُ يَوْمًا على ذَنْبٍ فقال له: أَقْصِرْ، فقال: خَلِّنِي وَرَبِّي أَبُعِثْتَ عَلَيَّ رَقِيبًا، فقال: والله لا يَغْفِرُ الله لك أو لا يُدْخِلُكَ الله الْجَنَّةَ فَقَبَضَ أَرْوَاحَهُمَا فَاجْتَمَعَا عِنْدَ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ فقال لِهَذَا الْمُجْتَهِدِ: كنتَ بِي عَالِمًا أو كُنْتَ على ما في يَدِي قَادِرًا؟! وقال لِلْمُذْنِبِ: اذْهَبْ فَادْخُلْ الْجَنَّةَ برحمتي، وقال لِلآخَرِ: اذْهَبُوا بِهِ إلى النَّارِ” قال أبو هُرَيْرَةَ: وَالَّذِي نَفْسِي بيده لَتَكَلَّمَ بِكَلِمَةٍ أوبقتْ دُنْيَاهُ وأخرتَه. رواه أبو داود. 

There were two men among the Children of Israel who were like brothers. One of them sinned while the other strove hard in worship. The one who strove would see the other upon a sin and say, ‘Desist.’ One day he found him upon a sin and said to him, ‘Desist.’ He replied, ‘Leave me and my Lord; have you been sent as a watcher over me?’ He said: ‘By Allah, Allah will not forgive you, or He will not admit you to Paradise.’ Then their souls were taken, and they were gathered before the Lord of the worlds. Allah said to this striving one: ‘Were you knowledgeable of what is with Me, or were you capable of what is in My Hand?’ And He Almighty said to the sinner: ‘Go and enter Paradise by My mercy.’ And He Almighty said about the other: ‘Take him to the Fire.’” Abu Hurayrah said: “By Him in Whose Hand is my soul, he spoke a word that ruined his world and his Hereafter. [Abu Dawud 4901, Grade: Hasan (Arnaout)] 

Al-Hafith Ibn Rajab (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “This man became angry for Allah’s sake, then spoke while angry for the sake of Allah in a way that was not permissible, and pronounced something binding upon Allah without knowledge, so Allah nullified his deeds. Then what about someone who speaks impermissibly in anger for their own sake and following their own desires?!” 

‘Ata’ ibn Abi Rabah (may Allah have mercy on him) said that nothing caused the scholars, at the end of their lives, to weep more than an outburst of anger that would destroy fifty years, or sixty years, or seventy years of deeds. And perhaps one fit of anger may thrust someone into a situation from which they could never recover.

We ask Allah Almighty to make us among those who suppress their anger in all situations and circumstances. Indeed Allah is All Hearing, Answering.

هَذَا وَصَلُّوا وَسَلِّمُوا عَلَى نَبِيِّكُم كَمَا أَمَرَكُمْ بِذلِكَ رَبُّكُمْ , فَقَالَ

I conclude with this and send prayers of blessings and peace upon your Prophet as your Lord commanded:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ وَمَلَائِكَتَهُ يُصَلُّونَ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ۚ يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا صَلُّوا عَلَيْهِ وَسَلِّمُوا تَسْلِيمًا

Al Ahzaab (33) 56: Indeed, Allah confers blessing upon the Prophet, and His angels [ask Him to do so]. O you who have believed, ask [ Allah to confer] blessing upon him and ask [ Allah to grant him] peace.

اللَّهُمَّ اهْدِنا فِيمَنْ هَدَيْتَ وَعَافِنا فِيمَنْ عَافَيْتَ وَتَوَلَّنا فِيمَنْ تَوَلَّيْتَ وَبَارِكْ لنا فِيمَا أَعْطَيْتَ وَقِنا شَرَّ مَا قَضَيْتَ إِنَّكَ تَقْضِي وَلاَ يُقْضَى عَلَيْكَ وَإِنَّهُ لاَ يَذِلُّ مَنْ وَالَيْتَ تَبَارَكْتَ رَبَّنَا وَتَعَالَيْتَ

O Allah, guide us with those whom You have guided, grant us well-being among those You have granted well-being, be an ally to us along with those whom You are an ally to, and bless what You have bestowed upon us, and save us from the evil of what You have decreed.  For verily You decree and none can decree over You. He whom You support can never be humiliated. Glory is to You, our Lord, You are Blessed and Exalted.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنَ الْخَيْرِ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الشَّرِّ كُلِّهِ عَاجِلِهِ وَآجِلِهِ مَا عَلِمْنا مِنْهُ وَمَا لَمْ نَعْلَمْ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ خَيْرِ مَا سَأَلَكَ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّ مَا عَاذَ بِهِ عَبْدُكَ وَنَبِيُّكَ اللَّهُمَّ إِنَّا نَسْأَلُكَ الْجَنَّةَ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ النَّارِ وَمَا قَرَّبَ إِلَيْهَا مِنْ قَوْلٍ أَوْ عَمَلٍ وَنَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَجْعَلَ كُلَّ قَضَاءٍ قَضَيْتَهُ لَنا خَيْرًا

O Allah, We ask You for all that is good, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we seek refuge with You from all evil, in this world and in the Hereafter, what we know and what we do not know. O Allah, we ask You for the good that Your servant and Prophet has asked You for, and we seek refuge with You from the evil from which Your servant and Prophet sought refuge. O Allah, we ask You for Paradise and for that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed, and we seek refuge in You from Hell and from that which brings one closer to it, in word and deed. And we ask You to make every decree that You decree concerning us good

 عِبَادَ اللّهِ  إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَأْمُرُ بِالْعَدْلِ وَالْإِحْسَانِ وَإِيتَاءِ ذِي الْقُرْبَىٰ وَيَنْهَىٰ عَنِ الْفَحْشَاءِ وَالْمُنكَرِ وَالْبَغْيِ  يَعِظُكُمْ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَذَكَّرُونَ

Servants of Allah. Indeed, Allah orders justice and good conduct and giving to relatives and forbids immorality and bad conduct and oppression. He admonishes you that perhaps you will be reminded. 

اُذْكُرُوا اللَّهَ الْعَظِيمَ يَذْكُرْكُمْ واشْكُرُوهُ يَزِدْكُمْ واسْتَغْفِرُوهُ يَغْفِرْ لكُمْ واتّقُوهُ يَجْعَلْ لَكُمْ مِنْ أَمْرِكُمْ مَخْرَجًا   وَأَقِمِ الصّلَاة

Remember Allah, the Great – He will remember you. Thank Him for His favors – He will increase you therein.  And seek forgiveness from Him – He will forgive you. And be conscious of Him – He will provide you a way out of difficult matters. And, establish the prayer.  

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